2018 - A return to myself and to love.
It has been a long time coming and I take pride in the fact that I am back. Cecilia is back. Truly feeling like myself after all these years.
Finally growing into the person that I should have been earlier, had I not for waste my time messing with a sociopath that was a waste of my time and taking up natural resources on earth just by being alive. He has no qualms hurting people's feeling, lives and attempting to break families. Should have grown wiser earlier but I am glad I finally saw through the lies and facade and stood up for myself. Call him out for the bastard that he was.
I was hoping he would care, but he was NEVER the hero. He was the demon that lurks. The zero that painted a nice facade for everyone. No one else could hear me screaming. No one knew how I felt on the inside, all the hurts and emotional abuse he put me through.
The road to recovery has been long but I have finally put a complete stop to it, moved forward and no longer think about him at all. I don't even look back anymore at that period of my life, don't think and remember much either -probably only the good memories - which were few but big ones to me.
I was my own hero, and no one can take that away from me. I grew up. I took off my pink-tinted glasses.
I found my own voice when I didn't have a voice. When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go was up.
Through the years, I was always searching for something to fill up the void that I felt inside.
But I have come to terms with it, I have been looking hard at myself and working with my demons for awhile now, dealing with a range of issues, speaking to the people who are part of it and taking time to reflect and do the work.
I am happy where I am at this stage. I am truly happy on my own. I do look forward to new experiences in the future, but right now, I am truly happy on my own.
I met someone recently - he is the TRUE ROCK STAR and better in every sense than my ex-the sociopath would ever have been. I don't have any expectations but I know no matter what, he gave me damn solid butterflies after I felt so dead and empty inside. Damn feels. Hallejulah.
Thank you Z.
Finally growing into the person that I should have been earlier, had I not for waste my time messing with a sociopath that was a waste of my time and taking up natural resources on earth just by being alive. He has no qualms hurting people's feeling, lives and attempting to break families. Should have grown wiser earlier but I am glad I finally saw through the lies and facade and stood up for myself. Call him out for the bastard that he was.
I was hoping he would care, but he was NEVER the hero. He was the demon that lurks. The zero that painted a nice facade for everyone. No one else could hear me screaming. No one knew how I felt on the inside, all the hurts and emotional abuse he put me through.
The road to recovery has been long but I have finally put a complete stop to it, moved forward and no longer think about him at all. I don't even look back anymore at that period of my life, don't think and remember much either -probably only the good memories - which were few but big ones to me.
I was my own hero, and no one can take that away from me. I grew up. I took off my pink-tinted glasses.
I found my own voice when I didn't have a voice. When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go was up.
Through the years, I was always searching for something to fill up the void that I felt inside.
But I have come to terms with it, I have been looking hard at myself and working with my demons for awhile now, dealing with a range of issues, speaking to the people who are part of it and taking time to reflect and do the work.
I am happy where I am at this stage. I am truly happy on my own. I do look forward to new experiences in the future, but right now, I am truly happy on my own.
I met someone recently - he is the TRUE ROCK STAR and better in every sense than my ex-the sociopath would ever have been. I don't have any expectations but I know no matter what, he gave me damn solid butterflies after I felt so dead and empty inside. Damn feels. Hallejulah.
Thank you Z.
